Carter Finally Gets It (2009), Brent Crawford’s first novel in eponymous the young adult series, is a coming of age narrative written the first person from the perspective of a popular and athletic high school freshman whose primary concern in life is having sex. It features humor that relies on using the slurs “bitch,” “gay,” and “retard,” relying on the assumption that it is normal for thirteen- and fourteen-year-old girls to have become so promiscuous that they are called “village bicycles” and are eager to “seal the deal” with random guys in the bushes at parties.
Protagonist fourteen-year-old Will Carter goes by his last name and lives in the small town of Merrian. Carter is an attractive star athlete who excels at football and swimming, has many good friends, and generally lives a good life. Although he is given ostensible problems such as Attention Deficit Disorder, which detracts from his abilities as a student, and a stutter, the novel softens these possible issues by never having schoolwork be important, and by saying that the stutter only happens when Carter is near “boobs and belly buttons.” In his own mind, his biggest problem is that he has never had sex. Nevertheless, he is hoping this will change now that he is finally in high school.
The novel opens with a scene that recurs throughout the novel: Carter can’t focus on what he is doing because he is consumed with the body parts of the women around him. While he is doing trick dives at the pool to impress his friends, he can’t help but obsess over the breasts of the lifeguard. When he is playing football, he obsesses over the cheerleaders in their practice uniforms. However, the primary object of his lust is Amber Lee, the conceited head cheerleader who rarely gives Carter the time of day.
As the school year starts, Carter reconnects with a few of his middle school peers. There’s Abby, the somewhat shy girl who has a crush on him; EJ, his best friend, who is never quite as cool or as confident as Carter and looks up to him; and Andre, Carter’s sports rival who always brings out Carter’s competitive streak.
After a season on the swim team during which Andre and Carter face off constantly, Carter decides to try something other than sports as his extracurricular activity. He gravitates to the drama department, where despite never having done any acting or singing before and being a freshman, he immediately lands the lead in the school play. As luck would have it, Abby is his co-lead.
The two get to know each other better and start dating. Nevertheless, Carter is never fully satisfied that his girlfriend isn’t the much hotter Amber Lee. He is also worried that his friends will find out that he is now interested in theater – will they make fun of his new talent? Then, another problem surfaces when a bully named “Scary Terry” steals his Redline 500 bike.
In between rehearsals for the play, Carter still has time to ogle the cheerleaders on the football field and to go to raucous parties. Twice in the novel, a party gets so out of control that the police are called to resolve the issue. One of these ends with the underage narrator driving his passed-out drunk sister in a stolen truck, while EJ is arrested and handcuffed in the back of a police car. Carter runs down mailboxes and fences while being chased by the police until the police swerve into a ditch – a fortuitous turn of events for EJ, who escapes from custody despite still being handcuffed and despite losing his pants so that he ends up mooning everyone he runs past. Despite Carter eventually being caught by the police, handcuffed, and marched home, his parents just shrug and smile.
Carter is shocked when the formerly cold Amber is suddenly interested in going with him to the homecoming dance. Jumping at the chance to be with the popular girl, Carter dumps Abby. What he doesn’t know is that Amber is just using him – her father won’t let her go to the dance with an older boy she likes, so her plan is to pretend to go with Carter and to ditch him when the older boy shows up. To add insult to injury, Abby goes to the dance with Carter’s rival Andre.
The novel ends with the premiere of the musical Carter is starring in. Despite his concern that his friends would ridicule him, instead, they show up and offer nothing but support for his new interest. Abby also forgives him for dumping her and they get back together. It’s not clear exactly what Carter has “finally gotten,” as per the title – as most readers point out, this book depicts a popular boy who doesn’t have problems sailing through life.