Next of Kin

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes cursing preserved in direct quotations from the source text.

“‘And your…dad? Do you know your dad’s name, sweetie?’ Ms. Brown was making me nervous, and I wanted my mom. Mostly so I could show her the artwork I’d made and ask if I had a dad like my friend Sara did. Sara’s dad seemed nice. Maybe, I had thought, he could be my dad too.”

Chloe remembers a day when her mom neglected her, and her thought process shows how Chloe dealt with the situation in the past and the impact it still has on her adult life. To young Chloe, the question about her dad felt invasive because she didn’t have a dad. Her desire that her friend’s dad could also be hers shows the simplicity of child logic and her optimism that her situation could improve. Looking back on this moment for the tragedy it was, Chloe finds her motivation for seeking custody of Willow to keep her baby sister from having a moment like this.

“Sober or not, my mother has always looked like herself—warm, familiar, like me. Now, I’m perhaps the only version of who my mother used to be that’s left in this world. She’s a stranger now, in all ways. A stranger my heart breaks for. A stranger I still need the approval of, love from…but I will have to settle for trust. The trust she is giving me to look after my sister.”

Though Chloe’s background with her mom is rocky, she has always taken comfort in their family resemblance, believing it means she got good qualities from her mom. However, the resemblance is also deeply rooted in Chloe’s trauma, reminding her of the neglect and poor treatment she received from the woman who should have cared for her. Chloe noting how her mother looks different now symbolizes Chloe putting distance between herself and her mom. Chloe still wants the approval she never got as a child, but, more importantly, she wants her sister to have a better childhood than she did, which is why she puts trust ahead of all else.