In her memoir,
Small Fry (2018), Lisa Brennan-Jobs describes what it was like to find out that tech tycoon Steve Jobs was her father, and how she felt when he didn’t want to know her. Critics praise the memoir for its blend of sharp insights and depictions of 1970s and 1980s California. Brennan-Jobs is an American journalist. After reconciling with her father, she studied at Harvard University and King’s College, London. Portrayed in several biographies of her father, she admitted that she worried how her extended family would react to her own memoirs.
Brennan-Jobs describes how it feels to grow up knowing that one’s biological father doesn’t want one. Her mother, Chris-Ann, was Apple founder Steve Jobs’s high school girlfriend. Becoming pregnant with Brennan-Jobs while Apple was in its earliest stages, Steve denied paternity, not wanting a child to distract him from his shot at future fame.
Brennan-Jobs describes her childhood in California. She grew up on a farm, for the first few years not knowing Steve existed. Chris-Ann raised Brennan-Jobs in a hippie lifestyle. For a time, Brennan-Jobs was happy; she didn’t know any other way of life, and Chris-Ann didn’t talk about her famous father.
Brennan-Jobs admits to feeling shocked and angry when she found out who her father was. She was angry because she had watched Chris-Ann struggle financially for many years, fighting Steve for child support that he eventually paid only to stop stories circulating about him in the media. She resented that her father didn’t want to know her. She always felt that she had done something wrong to deserve his neglect.
Finally, Steve decided that he wanted Brennan-Jobs to be a part of his life. She describes visiting Steve’s home for the first time, and how out of place she felt. Surrounded by so much money and privilege, Brennan-Jobs couldn’t help feeling unjustly treated. She also couldn’t help resenting her own lifestyle, despite knowing how hard Chris-Ann worked for her.
Brennan-Jobs talks about her teenage years and the first cracks in her relationship with her mother. After spending time in Steve’s home, surrounded by his friends and family, she hated going home to the farm and her mother’s hippie lifestyle. Feeling she deserved better, she blamed Chris-Ann for Steve’s abandonment of them both. This attitude led to many years of frustration and strain.
Everything changed again for Brennan-Jobs when Steve lost his job at Apple. He decided that he wanted to spend time on the farm where he could rekindle his friendship with Chris-Ann. He didn’t love her anymore, but he regretted treating her so badly. Around this time, Brennan-Jobs met her half-sister, Mona, of whom she grew fond.
Brennan-Jobs describes how, despite her efforts to please both parents, tensions grew between them again. Chris-Ann resented how her daughter acted like someone she wasn’t around Steve to impress him. On the other hand, Steve felt that Chris-Ann held their daughter back from reaching her full potential.
One day, Steve insisted that Brennan-Jobs move in with him for at least six months, during which time she wasn’t allowed to see Chris-Ann. Looking back now, Brennan-Jobs expresses anger at her father’s decision, because it wasn’t his decision to make. She hates how he pitted her against her mother, who wanted nothing but the best for her.
According to Brennan-Jobs, Steve’s household was a cold, unforgiving place, literally and metaphorically. He gave her a room in a distant part of the house where the heating didn’t work, and he wouldn’t fix it. He told her that she was disappointing and that she would never amount to anything. He encouraged friendships with people who were a bad influence on her, and he didn’t want to pay for her college tuition.
Brennan-Jobs describes how Steve finally relented and paid for college, but he gave up paying halfway through. She notes how humiliating it was when Steve’s neighbors offered to pay because they could see how badly she was mistreated. Through all this, Brennan-Jobs barely saw Chris-Ann, and she regrets letting go of her mother for so many years.
Brennan-Jobs concludes
Small Fry with chapters on Steve’s latter years. When Steve developed cancer, he reflected on his life, recognizing how poorly he had treated Brennan-Jobs. He asked for forgiveness although he acknowledged that he didn’t deserve it. Despite his poor treatment of her, Brennan-Jobs visited him frequently and forgave him before he died. She describes how, once Steve died, she returned to her mother and made up for the lost years.
Although
Small Fry is a memoir, it isn’t just about personal experiences. More generally, it describes what it is like to grow up in an emotionally abusive and neglectful situation, and it exposes the real costs of success. She acknowledges that, while Steve supported her financially and, in a way, always loved her, it was Chris-Ann who truly supported her.