Tell Me Lies

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of emotional abuse and cursing.

With the rise of social media and the information age, as well as the decades of progress in women’s rights, there is a greater societal awareness of psychological abuse and manipulation in romantic relationships than there has been at any point in human history. In heterosexual couples, psychological abuse can be compounded by the inequality that comes with patriarchal gender norms. Certain manipulative behaviors, including sexual infidelity, are seen as natural for men in patriarchal cultures, with the implication that women must simply accept such behavior. In this context, controlling and abusive behaviors in relationships can be perceived as signs that a man loves a woman. At the end of the novel, CJ says to Lucy, “[E]veryone has that guy…That one guy you think you’ll never be able to shake—the one who gets under your skin and epically fucks you up for a little while. I know I did” (371). CJ’s experience suggests that manipulative and psychologically abusive men have appeared in every generation, empowered by the privilege that comes with patriarchy.

In recent years, heightened awareness of mental health has led to a deeper societal understanding of healthy and unhealthy relationships and created discussion around what makes a relationship healthy.