This Is How It Always Is

1. General Impressions

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

• What were your favorite and least favorite parts of This Is How It Always Is? Which conflicts, scenarios, and scenes elicited the greatest emotional responses during your reading experience?
• What other LGBTQIA+ narratives does This Is How It Always Is bring to mind for you? How does Frankel’s overall handling of gender politics compare to other authors you’ve read? For example, you might consider parallel novels like Marieke Lucas Rijneveld’s The Discomfort of Evening and Schuyler Bailar’s Obie Is Man Enough.

2. Personal Reflection and Connection

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

• How did you respond to Rosie Walsh’s and Penn Adams’s parental relationships with Poppy? How do the novel’s familial dynamics compare and contrast with your own family culture?
• How did your regard for Poppy’s character evolve throughout her upbringing? Does her childhood experience resonate with your own? Particularly consider how she exercises her agency and explores her identity as she comes of age.
• The novel explores the dangers and realities of transphobia. How did you process and interpret these explorations? How did Frankel’s overarching commentary expand your own social awareness?
• How did you emotionally react to Poppy’s decision to become Claude again? Did this plot point surprise you? How do you think Poppy’s story would read differently if Poppy were more resolved about their gender identity and expression throughout the novel?

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